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Tell the world that I am coming home...

Sometimes it hits you very hard but you only live once. What if you don't succeed to fulfill your own expectations?

Always try your best but never more than this.

Another day, another dawn. There is no final solution, nothing is for certain. But this keeps life interesting and challenging, but sometimes there's just no way to overcome fate.

Don't let fears stop you, always remember that it is your responsibility to look after yourself.

Forgive yourself your mistakes and maybe one day you can be excactly that person that you wanted to be all along.

21.1.11 10:54


das gefühl, die welt 19 jahre lang zumindest teilweise falsch interpretiert zu haben. Sätze wie: 'oh, there wasn't just any guy good enough for her'...ich erinnere mich aber noch recht genau an meine selbstwahrnehmung und die sagte etwas ganz anderes.

Had previous experiences damaged me that much? They feel like kinda home and somehow that makes me sad - you never can have it all. I guess I was taking stuff too serious, well believing they were all better than me and thinking I wouldn't deserve it. How did this happen?

Maybe asking these questions is pointless and one must just try and work with the stuff thats available now. But it's still so difficult to understand it all.

13.1.11 10:18


where are the tears when you need them most? when you just want to get the anger and sadness out of your body? something to wash you clean of everything that has happened and you've done you don't appreciate? why is it so difficult to have and get what you want? why does it seem everywhere available but not at the place where you would need it the most? was it right, was it wrong? who knows? the desicion was made within seconds and who knows how much it destroyed....could it be fixed? is it worth trying at all? So, whats the right guidance and what does my 'intuition' say? hello? how about telling me...?
4.1.11 01:38


flahsback: a green mercedes limousine,14, 15 years back. Im in the back, my parents sit in the front. Its night and moon is shining...we are driving back from italy and the whole car is packed with stuff...the streets are narrow and there are lots of turns.holiday.
18.12.10 12:39


words linger around, not ready to go anywhere....waiting to get my health back I am stuck somewhere between Coetzee and cooking shows. Waiting for the indian delivery service to open. The curtains are closed halfway and facebook hasn't go anything new to tell. The town's full of snow, like you haven't seen before...only one and half hour to go until I can finally place my order...
16.12.10 15:25


it feels like racing...enegery that can't come out, no engery for work but the thoughts are jumping foward and back, up and down. Having found this new kind of game everything else seems so....boring, I guess. The body screams for more. The mind too. Where the hell have I been? Must have been a damn remote place. The most weird thing: it happens in the middle of winter! never, expect anything, everything goes its own way anyway. I am not saying Im ready for all of it - but for some indeed.
7.12.10 15:34


time to blog...time to just spill it on the paper or screen....this is one these life changing moments we all wait for. Sometimes it only takes one night or one week to give you life a new direction and way. Although as person you might not be so important for me, but for what you did, you are. Suddenly there's stuff to tell...not only about other people but about stuff that actually happened to me. I am grateful for this week, I knew barcelona was going to be great but I had no idea how important this would be to give me back strength and love and stability.

 

5.12.10 23:51


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